Lila Holler Gets Vulnerable in New Single “The Way I Am Now”

Photos: Tashi Dema

Lila Holler, an indie-pop singer-songwriter from Seattle, Washington, is back and better than ever. Her new single, “The Way I Am Now,” brings a haunting, eerily beautiful energy to her discography and explores a much more intense topic than usual. She writes about feeling like her relationship is too good to be true. That she doesn’t deserve the happiness she’s found. As the song unfolds, you can hear her start to spiral. “You’re absolutely everything that I wanted / But what if it gets too much and you call it?” It’s a feeling that so many of us can relate to.

Sonically, the track feels like a mix of Lizzy McAlpine and Phoebe Bridgers, with a touch of Billie Eilish. Lila’s airy, soft, and delicate voice fits this sound perfectly. Her influences shine through clearly, especially in the layered harmonies, subtle hums, and gorgeously melancholic instrumentation that make the song feel rich and full. “The Way I Am Now” sounds like the kind of song you’d want to listen to alone in your room at night with headphones on — which, ironically (and probably intentionally), mirrors how it was written.

Lila created this song in her room while reflecting on her own relationship, and that intimacy really comes through. You can almost feel her spiralling in real time, which is such an impressive emotional effect to capture.

If I had one small note, it’s that the ending feels a little abrupt, and I would love a longer conclusion/bridge. But honestly, that’s only because I didn’t want it to end. The song is ethereal, raw, and vulnerable. It touches on the all-too-familiar fear of not feeling “good enough” for someone, and reminds us that everyone just wants to be accepted for who they are. This is such a beautiful, honest new chapter for Lila Holler, and I hope to hear more of this vibe soon.

“The Way I Am Now” is out October 17th.

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